Fresh Start Monday #018: What are your three words for 2023?

In lieu of New Year’s resolutions, I'm trying something different this year. I'm choosing three words. They will encourage, inspire, and guide me when life inevitably gets hard.

What are my three words?

First word: Break-in

The strongest long-term benefits in life have a break-in period.

It's like a leather pair of boots. They might be a little stiff at first. You might develop a blister or two. You might not want to put them on one day. But over time, they start to fit like a glove.

I'm in a major transition period, and I want to remind myself that a bit of pain is part of the process.

Over the weekend, I was hanging up flyers around Boulder advertising my coaching business. It's hard to fully express how awkward I was in the first few cafes I walked into. I'd walk around the cafe. I’d see if any other posters were hanging. Then abruptly leave if I was drawing too much attention.

After giving myself a pep talk in the car, in the next cafe, I simply walked up to the cashier and asked if I could hang up a poster. Most of them simply said yes if they had a community board. Some just said to put it up on any wall. Some kindly apologized and said no.

Sometimes there's pain involved. Sometimes it's imagined pain.

When I started writing this weekly newsletter in September, it took about three months before I stopped stressing about posting it.

I would write parts of it every day. It felt unsustainable to put so much effort into writing one post. Until slowly, my perfectionism faded. I now feel ready to post bits of it on social media. But looking back to September, it feels silly how much it consumed my life.

This year I want to go through several break-in periods. Hearing the word "No" from people is top of mind.

Second word: Mastery

My second word comes from a session with my life coach two weeks ago. The topic I brought up that day is testimonials. Testimonials are one source of credibility when someone comes across your website or social media profile.

I asked, how do I build credibility when all my clients are still in progress? I can't speak to any results yet. His answer surprised me.

He said, right now, don't worry about it. Testimonials come with time. Focus on mastering your craft. Everything else comes from being an exceptional coach.

In my eagerness and rush to build a business, he reminded me of where I am. I'm a young coach. I can't skip any steps. Mastery takes care of the business. I'm reminded of Cal Newport's book, "So Good They Can't Ignore You."

Mastery means finishing my coaching program in April. I've signed up for 104 volunteer hours to help facilitate the coaching model for new coaches. It also means practicing every chance I get. For money or pro bono. I need 100 hours of coaching for certification, and that's my minimum.

I'm at my best when I set aside daily time to read and learn. Life and career coaching takes a lifetime to master. This year will build the foundation that withstands the test of time.

Third word: Contentment

In 2023, I want to grow more at peace with the seeds I've planted. To nurture and focus my time on what's already in the soil.

I'm quick to pivot and look for new experiences, but when I look ahead, I don't see any big trips or major changes ahead.

@Julien on Twitter has a great thread. Here's a part of it:

“Example - My gf is one year into her ceramic sculpting and she just did her first show. People like what she does but she wants it to go faster.

When you feel like quitting, the thing you should really get out of it is not "I quit" but instead

Ah! Most people probably quit at this time. If I continue, good things will happen and it'll be less competition."

It's a contentment that I'm on the right track. I want there to be a patience and appreciation for where I am in life.

For how future-oriented my brain is, I don't act on long enough time scales. That's true for my career, where I live, relationships, hobbies, and other areas.

But this is not about mastery. It's about finding joy in the process.

I'm a sprinter who's learning to run a marathon.

Applying it to your life

What are your three words for 2023?