Fresh Start Monday #014: Potential - Interference = Performance

Last week, I came across a formula I first saw several years ago in the book "The Inner Game of Tennis" by Tim Gallwey.

Potential - Interference = Performance

I liked this formula when I first saw it, but its message is more powerful now that I'm working with clients.

A coach's role is to help clients increase their self-awareness towards those interferences and hold them accountable for overcoming those blocks.

The interference I continue to see is limiting beliefs. Fear and a lack of self-confidence as people work toward their dreams.

Our inner critic is the keeper of the status quo.

It's like being on a seesaw by yourself. When we take action away from how we've lived our life, we are suddenly sitting on the other end, which triggers our inner voice to return us to where we're comfortable.

It's why we sometimes feel a surge of motivation and action until we slide back to our old habits. That voice continues to gain strength unless we bring awareness to it or find a stronger, more positive voice. This is especially true if it's something we haven't done before. As I grow a coaching business, the voice has made its presence felt with some of its favorite phrases:

I’m too pushy selling.

I will never be good at marketing.

I'm not meant to be self-employed.

Self-doubt has become a sort of daily routine.

It got me thinking about how valuable my own coach has been during this process. It's the 45 minutes every two weeks when anything feels possible.

I thought of three stages that a coaching client goes through:

Stage one

Before they begin a coaching relationship, they may feel alone, unsupported, and have an almost overwhelming sense of self-doubt.

I envision knots in a rope. At first, our beliefs are rigid and tied tight. There's no movement in the system.

Stage Two

Working with a coach, they see that someone else believes in their potential, and that potential starts to shine. They start to become conscious of their inner critic.

With work, the knots start to loosen. They give way, and you start to feel, hey, if I keep going, I can get through this.

Stage three

A strong inner self-confidence starts to build. Over a few months, a client starts seeing momentum and the desired results.

The knots are undone. The rope slides easily through your hands. You just need to keep going.

A coach may be temporary, but building an unwavering belief in yourself is eternal.

How can you build this self-confidence without a coach?

Fresh Start Experiment

I've had mixed feelings about affirmations in the past. I tried them for short periods, but they soon faded away.

The limiting beliefs I see in myself and others have renewed my interest in them. There could be something there.

What is an affirmation?

It's a positive statement you repeat daily that helps challenge and overcome the negative thoughts in your head.

How do I write affirmations?

Affirmations are written in the present tense, usually starting with the words "I am."

Pick one affirmation.

I"m choosing, "I am a successful entrepreneur."

I'm writing this line down 15 times a day before I go to bed.

Affirmations on their own are not a magical fix-all. Action still needs to follow. But affirmations help bridge the gap between talking and learning to action. That's the gap where fear resides.

Applying it to your life

First, bring awareness to your own negative self-talk. What made-up statements is your inner critic telling you?

I will never be…

It won’t work for me…

I can't...

I'm not...

Next, who do you want to be?

Pick one affirmation that starts to balance the negative thoughts out.

Without a coach or positive frames of thinking, we can be swept away by our critical selves. Stand your ground one positive statement at a time.