Fresh Start Monday #043: Reflections from 7-days of silent meditation in nature, part 2
Doing vs Being
If I had to pick a personal theme from the retreat, it would be doing vs being.
When I arrived at the retreat Sunday evening, the first thing I noticed was the several miles of beautiful trails weaving through the forests.
I asked Mark Coleman, our meditation teacher, if I could go on trail runs. He said yes, but asked, how is that serving you this week? What intentions did you set this week?
I heard a yes, so I walked away excited to get some runs in and stay in shape as a beautiful way to explore the property. For others, it was hiking. It's this feeling that I need to "complete" all the trails. I'm here for the week, and I need to fit all the running/hiking before going back to normal life.
At first, the concept of doing vs being is hard to understand. I'm hiking in nature. See! I'm in nature! It's good for me! It's beautiful out here!
As we deepened our connection to nature over the week, it started to make more sense. We started to see beneath the surface.
On our last two days of the retreat, we had two opportunities to go off on solos. A solo is time spent in silence and solitude in nature. On Friday, we had four hours, on Saturday, we had six hours.
For my spot, I picked a rock outcrop peaking out through the forest a couple of miles away off the trail. It took me about an hour to get there. That hour there and back felt like an adventure. I navigated unfamiliar territory, climbed a sketchy rockface to reach the summit, and got lost in a torrential downpour on my way back.
It was everything I wanted. And I had missed the point.
The following morning, Mark gave us all a pep talk. If there's a spot that takes fifteen minutes to walk to, take two hours to get there. Let go of getting anywhere.
In our society, we attach goals to everything. I had treated the rock as another goal to attain. My "mission" became all about something I had to do.
I decide to return to the same spot through the lens of being. It took twice as long.
However, I noticed a flower with orange petals with several types of insects on it. I noticed the stillness of the morning. I noticed how the forest welcomed the rain as I ran away from it. How jarring a sight that must be for the forest.
The forest had a richness and depth hidden in plain sight.
You might ask, what's the point?
In our daily lives, how many times do we fail to notice what our kids, our partners, and our friends are truly trying to communicate to us? Or how many nonverbal communication signals we are missing with our distracted minds? The truth is we probably have no idea.
Slowing down gave quality time a whole new meaning.
After spending a week mostly 'being", I've realized how exhausting it's to always be doing. I don't consider myself a stressed or anxious person, but the contrast from the previous week has been alarming.
It's given me a different perspective on the harmful effects of stress on our bodies. And why burnout has become an increasingly popular term. It's become common for our brains to be on alert from the seconds after we wake up to the seconds before we fall asleep.
The below image does a good job comparing doing vs being:
We can't escape doing from our lives, but how can we incorporate being? Are there times throughout the day where you can slow down? Which areas of your life can you shift your mindset towards being?
I never went on that run.
I did reflect on what it meant to remove doing from running. That would mean removing a mileage or pace goal. Specifically, not running with my Garmin or phone to track heart rate, time, or other data. I like and will continue to track and measure my running, but this past week has been brainstorming small ways to create some breathing room in my busy life.
How are you creating that space?