Fresh Start Monday #009: Letting go comes first

This tree stands in the front yard of where I live.

A month ago, this tree had green leaves and a vibrancy that shaded the front lawn. Today, I see a bare skeleton. It's a reminder of what used to be and the outline of what's to come.

You can say the same about my life.

I was laid off on October 14th. Between that and moving to Boulder, no leaves remain.

As much as I want to blossom immediately, I know Spring is still a few months away. Fallow periods allow us to reflect, redefine, and regrow.

In his book, Transitions, William Bridges talks about the difference between change vs transition:

"Our society confuses them constantly, leading us to imagine that transition is just another word for change. But it isn’t. Change is your move to a new city or your shift to a new job. It is the birth of your new baby or the death of your father. In other words, change is situational. Transition, on the other hand, is psychological. It is not those events but rather the inner reorientation and self-redefinition that you have to go through in order to incorporate any of those changes into your life."

Change is instant. Transition is slow.

I remember when I bought a one-way flight to Melbourne, Australia. Giving two weeks' notice happens in one conversation. Buying a flight is one click. Flying to Australia happens overnight.

In this example, change was exciting externally but awkward, confusing, and lonely internally for the first 45 days. I've only ever known a full-time job. When I arrived, I unconsciously applied for jobs even though I saved up money to not work while traveling.

Still, I applied, interviewed, and received a full-time job offer in that first month. When I got that offer, it snapped me into focus; what the hell am I doing?

All these changes happened in my life, but I clung to the life I knew in NYC.

We're trained to think, what's next, but seldom do we sit with, what's ending?

Like the tree in the front yard, we need to follow the natural pattern of life.

Fresh Start Experiment

This week is about reflection. I'm journaling at night with these prompts in my mind:

What is it time to let go of in my life?

What do I need to let go of to blossom into whom I want to be?

Applying it to your life

If you've recently undergone a change in your life, other than the prompts above, reflect on:

What does this event signify the end of?

What internal shift does this ending represent?

If you want something new to enter your life, ask, what do I need to remove?

It's easy for your writing to wander into the future but stay with the end. We'll dive into what we want next week.