Fresh Start Monday #011: What's the prototype?

Last week I asked, what do I actually want?

To spare you from a 5000-word newsletter, I'll focus on two things that popped up over and over.

One is to create community.

It's disappeared from my life over the last three years and probably for many since the pandemic started. As you age, fewer built-in communities like summer camps, colleges, sports teams, or neighborhoods exist.

We indeed have fewer friends as we get older. We're more discerning and evaluate the type of friendships we want to bring into our lives.

I reflected on the hiking, trail running, and disc golf groups I joined in LA. My communities in the past revolved around sports.

I want physical activity to be a part of my life, but I have less energy than I used to for large groups and small talk at drinks afterward. I’m not having the deeper conversations and like-minded connections that I want.

Yes, too much social interaction drains me, but it's from the small talk variety. I'm able to draw energy from more profound, authentic interactions. It's felt like I've been rummaging through different groups and events with little to show for it.

What if I create something that attracts like-minded people instead of searching?

This idea came up from the prompt two weeks ago. If I let go of trying to change my environment, it's given me the sense I can build something here. I'll be here. This ain't temporary anymore.

The other idea is a ~10-year goal of creating a retreat. It's the first time I dug into what that looks like.

It's in the mountains. In my wildest dreams, I own the property. The retreat combines outdoor adventure, coaching, meditation, creativity, and community.

The underlying idea between those two ideas is that I want to create something. I’m tired of sitting on the sidelines.

In a recent coaching session, I shared my visions for the future. The coach blurted out, "you want to be at the front of the classroom."

It's true. Growing up, I sat in the back of the classroom. I made myself as small as possible. Over the last several years, I've learned to be an active participant. Now, I want to lead.

These thoughts have been rumbling around in my head but are now clear.

What solidified for you after digging into what do you actually want?

Fresh Start Experiment

This week is another journal prompt. What if I tried this?

No, not create a retreat, but what's the mini version? The no-risk version? The little prototype?

Big dreams are powerful and intimidating. They give us direction and fear. The prototype lets us play on a small scale without the same amount of risk or exposure.

Research also shows that humans are terrible at predicting what they'll actually like or dislike. I know that from personal experience too.

Can I speak in front of a large group of people? Can I handle constant social interaction over several days? Can I be the center of attention? I've generally avoided all of the above.

These little tests help you reflect on the question, do I want this, or did I want this when I was 20? Or did I want this five years ago?

How can I convert the ideas in my head onto the paper of reality?

Applying it to your life

I also think about a question from Mark Manson: how can you better embarrass yourself?

Many of our biggest dreams are scary. They require vulnerability and courage. Embracing embarrassment is a prerequisite.

It's not about diving headfirst into the unknown cold water but finding a way to dip your toe in first.

What would that look like for you?