Fresh Start Monday #051: Attachment to temporary pleasures
"Everything is temporary. Emotion, thoughts, people, and scenery. Do not become attached, just flow with it." - Violet Evergarden
On Saturday, I went for a long 16-mile run as I kept training for a 50k.
At the trailhead, two kids around the age of 10 were selling cold lemonade. At that moment, I didn't think much of it besides wanting to support their small business!
The run felt good until about 11 miles in. I didn't properly account for running at a higher elevation and starting later which meant 90+ degree temperatures. It’s the longest distance I’ve run to date. That combo made it feel like I was running with ankle weights.
I hadn't thought about that lemonade stand until suddenly, it became this all-encompassing thought.
Lemonade went from a want to a need. It felt real and strong. And it took over the last half of my run.
I was in my head about some of the pain I was in and the intense craving meant I forgot about my running technique, the beautiful landscape around me, and who knows what happened with my breathing.
I grew attached to this desire.
In Buddhism, attachment is called upādāna, which means grasping or clinging. At its heart, attachment is about not wanting things to be the way they are. It arises from our basic human desire for pleasure and avoidance of pain.
In these moments of pain, the mind becomes engrossed with the pleasant experience and attempts to escape the unpleasant one creating a craving and attachment cycle.
The more attached we become, the more we suffer.
Case in point: when I finally returned to the trailhead, the lemonade stand was no longer there. Talk about being devastated!
Driving home, I reflected on how silly my preoccupation was. When I left the car, I had water I was perfectly happy to come back to.
And believe it or not, I survived without lemonade.
These thoughts come and go throughout our day, will you recognize and let it go? Or be enticed?
It's usually more sneaky.
For example, one evening you're bored and lonely. Your mind comes up with the idea that if all you had was an ice cream pint, or a bottle of wine, you'd be happy.
Attachment comes in many forms, including attachment to people, possessions, ideas, and even our identity.
Journal Prompts
Meditation has made the biggest difference in my ability to recognize my attachments. However, recently I learned two other techniques that can help.
Anticipate the attachment. This could be a journal prompt in the morning. What's a situation or time today that I will become attached to doing something to avoid pain?
Reimagine the attachment. This could be a journal prompt in the morning. What was a situation today that I tried to escape or avoid an unpleasant emotion, experience, or feeling? How can I become aware of these thoughts arising and how will I choose to respond next time?