Fresh Start Monday #60: What is your model of success?
I recently attended an in-person workshop called Conscious Hearts: Opening up to more connection and flow in love and relationships. Eri Kardos and Jaymin Patel organized the workshop and are both relationship coaches.
The main thing I took away from this workshop was finding or creating a model of success.
When they were starting a family, they decided they wanted to create a strong family structure and support system. However, their parents could not provide that and did not set a good example.
So, they adopted grandparents for their children. Not in any formal way. They started to develop a strong friendship with an older couple in the local community. Over time, their bond strengthened to include family dinners and holidays together. And even grandparents day at school.
The older couple didn't have grandchildren who lived close to them. They were happy to play that role. It gave them meaning and a familial bond they also wanted. They also proved to be a great model of marriage.
They instilled a value and model of family.
They gave another example of when they had a single friend who had struggled to find a relationship. She asked if she could spend more time with Eri and Jaymin because, in her eyes, they represented a model of a successful relationship.
She soon found a partner of her own.
If we've never seen a good model of a relationship, of family, of a business, etc. how are we supposed to know what we want, let alone know how to create it?
They said therapists, coaches, and mentors are great tools, but this wasn't about asking questions or unpacking anything. When their single friend hung out with them, it was more observing how they interacted and communicated.
Finding a partner and building a business are the two areas I'm focused on right now, and this workshop made me reflect on how I've never had a strong model for either.
Journal Prompts
1. Thinking about any area of your life, what are some models in your life that you either look up to or have successfully found?
2. Thinking about any area of your life, what models have you been unable to find? Or they've been bad examples.
3. Where can you find a model of what success looks like? Who do you know? Who can you ask to spend more time with? Or how can you create a model that may be unconventional but works for you?
For example, Eri and Jaymin get married every year. It's not a huge celebration but a weekend away together. They ask if this marriage is still working for both of them. And they renew their commitment for another year.
This model works for them. What works for you?
Local to Boulder, CO?
Join me this Wednesday (10/25) on Meetup for a biweekly journaling group!
Wine & Words on Wednesdays - Journaling Group - 20s and 30s
Wednesday, October 25th at 6pm MT at Silver Vines Winery