Fresh Start Monday #61: You don't need more options

I've been reading the book How to Not Die Alone by Logan Ury. In one of the opening chapters, she talks about how dating and choosing who to marry is harder now than ever before.

This line struck me because it's a theme that continues to show up in my life, my clients, and whenever we need to make any decision.

"We live in an information rich society that offers the false comfort of research".

One of the reasons dating is harder than ever before is because we 'seemingly' have endless options. By researching what's out there and scrolling through hundreds of options we believe we'll get closer to making the right decision.

It's how most of us make decisions in today's world. Think about the last time you made a purchase. I recently bought an alarm clock that mimics the sunrise. I’d be embarrassed to reveal how many reviews and rankings I looked through before deciding.

Research has shown that while we crave choice, too many options can make us feel unhappy and doubtful of our decisions. (Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwartz).

Throughout the book, Logan repeated this line: great relationships are built, not discovered.

Replace relationships with any word:

Great careers are built, not discovered.

Great friendships are built, not discovered.

Great places to live are built, not discovered.

Logan is now married to a guy named Scott. She once swiped left on Scott.

I'll probably share more about the book and specific strategies next week, but if you're struggling to make a decision in any area of your life or make meaningful progress, get off the internet and engage.

Many of the tips Logan shares are around going on more dates, more second dates, and not pretending you know what you want from apps skewed towards superficial traits.

How can you apply this idea to your week ahead?