Fresh Start Monday #82: The pleasure pain balance

For several years before Covid, I was a huge reader. One non-fiction book a week. It felt enjoyable and easy to read so much. I attribute much of my success to that habit.

However, then Covid happened. Throughout Covid, I struggled immensely to read anything—maybe a few books a year at most.

I struggled to understand why. I blamed it on the following:

  • I no longer had a commute which meant I didn’t have a designated reading time

  • I was home alone and lonely. I didn’t need to spend more time alone and at home by myself.

Those rationalizations made sense to me, but they were wrong.

Only recently did I learn the true culprit.

Dopamine addiction.

I've read two books on Dopamine recently. Dopamine Detox by Thibaut Meurisse and Dopamine Nation by Anna Lembke.

I realized the true reason I stopped reading is because over Covid, I relied more on technology, and I became addicted to my smartphone. I was in a stagnant place in my life, worked remotely for the first time, and often felt bored.

Reading a long book wasn't giving me the dopamine hit that I craved through my smartphone or other drugs of choice.

I needed a stronger source than a book.

What I learned, especially from Dopamine Nation, is that pleasure and pain are colocated. The same parts of the brain that process pleasure also process pain. Pleasure and pain work like a balance.

The overarching rule between this balance is that it wants to stay level. This is called homeostasis.

When we do something that gives us pleasure, our brain releases the neurotransmitter dopamine, and the balance tips to the side of pleasure. But our brain adapts to this increased dopamine with pain to try and bring us back into a leveled state by tipping the side to pain. This might look like a hangover, a come down, or a sugar crash. Or at a smaller level, it’s why we need to watch one more Youtube video.

This balance is natural.

The problem with modern society is that we're constantly seeking out and receiving pleasure. It's always a click away. It’s overloaded a system not designed for 21st-century living.

Over days, weeks, months, and years, our brains constantly experience pain by seeking pleasure. Over time, the homeostasis set point shifts so that instead of activities giving us pleasure, we need them just to feel normal.

One day, nothing starts to feel good anymore.

I was shocked to learn that when people come into her office with depression or anxiety or other mental health issues, she no longer prescribes pills, although sometimes it’s part of treatment. Instead, she asks, what are you addicted to?

She recommends one month of abstinence from your drug of choice.

The activities, devices, and substances that you feel like you can't live without are most likely the source of your problems.

Pain is the price for pleasure. Pleasure is the reward for pain.

Stepping onto the pain side of the balance might look like a cold shower, exercise, or fasting. Something that might be uncomfortable or effortful.

For me, that's been intermittent fasting, not turning on my phone until 10 am, and exercise.

Journal Prompts

What's your drug of choice?

  • The thing that once you start you have a hard time stopping.

  • Makes you feel good in the moment, but worse afterward.

  • Sugar, alcohol, video games, social media, shopping, porn, and weed are some examples but the potential list is endless.

How long will you abstain for?

Dr. Lembke recommends a month. That may sound insane, but maybe a day? A week? Treat it like an experiment. You know it's working and the source of your problems if you feel irritability, anxiety, dysphoria, insomnia, and mental preoccupation with using (craving).

How can you add discomfort to your life?

I’m happy to say I’m back to my old reading habit with levels of focus and sustained attention that I haven’t had in years. I’m back in balance.

Local to Boulder, CO?

On March 28th, I’ll be hosting Pages to Progress a monthly workshop held on the last Thursday of every month that delivers key insights from bestselling non-fiction books and helps you apply them to your life.

For March, the book is The 5AM Club: Own Your Morning. Elevate Your Life. by Robin Sharma.

You can register through Meetup. March 28th at 6:30 pm MT at NowHaus. $25

Join us Tuesday (3/26) on Meetup for a free biweekly journaling group.

Thoughtful Tuesdays - Biweekly Journaling Group

Tuesday, March 26th at 6pm MT. Location: Private residence. I’ll send out the address 24 hours before the event starts to anyone who RSVP’s as going. Cats will be present.

Books

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Finished reading:

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