Fresh Start Monday #75: Taking control of your luck
"It's a funny thing, the more I practice, the luckier I get." - Arnold Palmer
Every Wednesday night, I go to a running group. It leaves from Runner’s Roost, a running store, and after the run, they have a raffle to win prizes from the store and sponsors.
Two weeks ago, as I waited for the owner to announce the winners, I became aware of my thoughts. They went something like, here we go again. I never win anything. I’m so unlucky.
At that moment, I realized what a negative mindset that is. I’m creating an identity. I, Kamil, am unlucky.
When it comes to winning a raffle at a running store, it feels pretty meaningless. I will never have any control over the outcome. But it’s similar to the mindset when things don’t go your way.
When most of us think about luck, we associate it with two things:
It has a small chance of happening
It's out of our control
The luck I want to talk about today still has a small chance of happening, but you have more control over it than you think.
The Luck Factor
Dr. Richard Wiseman wrote the book The Luck Factor. He spent 10 years studying the nature of luck and discovered that, to a large extent, people make their own good and bad fortune.
In one experiment, he recruited 400 participants who considered themselves very lucky or very unlucky. The professor gave both lucky and unlucky (their self-belief) people a newspaper and asked them to look through it and tell him how many photographs were inside.
"On average, the unlucky people took about two minutes to count the photographs whereas the lucky people took just seconds. Why? Because the second page of the newspaper contained the message **“Stop counting — There are 43 photographs in this newspaper.**
This message took up half of the page and was written in type that was over two inches high. It was staring everyone straight in the face, but the unlucky people tended to miss it and the lucky people tended to spot it.
Just for fun, he placed a second large message halfway through the newspaper. This one announced: **“Stop counting, tell the experimenter you have seen this and win $250.”** Again, the unlucky people missed the opportunity because they were still too busy looking for photographs.”
A real-life example of that newspaper study is going to parties or events with the purpose of finding your perfect partner and, in doing so, missing opportunities to make a good friend.
Or scrolling through job boards looking for the perfect role and industry and missing out on other types of jobs.
The common theme that emerged over many experiments is that both groups of people had equal access to opportunities presented, but the lucky group noticed what the unlucky group tended to miss.
The lesson from these studies is that luck is not a magical ability or random chance, but lucky people share several traits that increase their chances of being lucky.
Our daily thoughts and behaviors expand or contract our opportunities for luck, which determines our experience as a lucky or unlucky person.
How do you find more luck in your life?
Openness to experience
Dr. Wiseman found that lucky people make their own luck by being open to more unexpected opportunities. They tend to be more relaxed and open, and see what is there rather than just what they're looking for. They keep their peripheral vision open.
This might show up as going to a cafe to get work done, but open to a conversation that a stranger sparks next to them. Or as simple as rerouting your commute home.
Many of the experiments revealed that unlucky people are much more tense and anxious, and research shows anxiety disrupts people's ability to notice the unexpected.
Unlucky people tend to focus on planning and certainty before making decisions. It creates a tunnel vision that blinds them to new ideas and trying new things.
2. Notice luck
To help change the subjects' mindsets, they were asked to keep a luck journal. They were asked at the end of each day to write down the most positive thing that happened or the most positive thought they have that day.
For me, this is very similar to keeping a gratitude journal. Participants began to see the good things happening in their lives. Dr. Wiseman noted this simple intervention had the biggest impact.
Humans naturally look for the negative, and by writing down positive experiences and "luck", they started to rewire their brains and look for opportunities they otherwise would've missed.
It changes your perspective on how things go and how you interact with the world.
Lucky people find the silver linings.
3. Talk to strangers
People who are more extroverted tend to be luckier because they expose themselves to strangers. As an introvert, this makes me sad.
One way I've reframed this is, when do I enjoy chatting with strangers?
I’m really good 1 on 1 when I have time and space. It’s my sweet spot. I ask people out for coffee chats all the time. It doesn’t drain me and I enjoy them.
What feels authentic to you?
I talk to my mom on the phone about once a week. Sometimes I complain about how it’s hard to make friends, or that I’m single, or that I get tired of putting myself out there all the time.
In Polish, she always says something like well, nothing is gonna happen sitting on the couch at home. That usually does the trick. Over time, I’ve realized what she’s referring to is increasing my luck.
How are you exposing yourself to more luck than the average human?
Local to Boulder, CO?
Join us Tuesday (2/13) on Meetup for a free biweekly journaling group! This week will be at Tonic Alchemy Lounge. It's a cozy, intimate space with a wide variety of tea, kava, tonics, desserts, and cocktails available.
Thoughtful Tuesdays - Biweekly Journaling Group
Tuesday, February 13th at 6pm MT at Tonic Alchemy Lounge!
Books
Currently reading:
The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles
Finished reading:
Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity
Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones
Ready to dive deeper?
Coaching is a highly personalized and thought-provoking partnership devoted to understanding why you are the way you are, uncovering your unique vision, and bridging the gap between who you are today and your best self.
Part of its power lies in its co-creation. Book a free 30-minute chemistry call to see if we’re a good fit: