Fresh Start Monday #74: The power of dominoes

Last week, I hosted my first monthly workshop called Pages to Progress, where I distilled the core concepts from a book and helped apply them to your life. The book was Atomic Habits by James Clear. I’ve been on a deep dive into habits for weeks.

I’ve noticed one thing with habits that almost everyone struggles with. Starting small.

Small habits can feel meaningless. Useless. Pointless.

A very common occurrence in some of my coaching sessions goes something like this (paraphrased):

Client: I have a big goal!

Kamil: Great! How about we start really really small with this one habit?

Client: No way. Why? If I start doing that small habit, I’ll never reach my goals.

People always underestimate these barely perceptible changes and behaviors that feel like nothing in the present moment. However, a small habit creates a chain reaction for something much greater.

A domino is a great example. You've all seen the videos involving thousands of similar sized dominoes.

What I didn’t know until recently is that one domino can knock over the next domino even if it’s 1.5 times larger (in size and weight). Here’s a video:


Your habits need to start in a similar way.

The first domino in that video is 5mm high and 1mm thick. You can’t even see it until they zoom in. What's the equivalent in your life?

Don’t you immediately think that’s ridiculous? That feels like a waste of time, right?

Yet, at the same time, isn't it amazing how fast these 13 dominoes topple over? And to what size?

I want to share an example from my own life.

I’ve never been a runner. I actually hated running. However, Boulder has a large trail running community, and I liked the idea of being light and fast on my feet in nature.

I set out with the goal of running a 50k (31 mile) ultramarathon on October 7th, 2023, with an elevation gain of 4,137 ft.

The graph below shows my mileage per month in 2023. I started my training in March.


Doesn’t my bar graph from March to October look a lot like the dominoes in the video?

I ran a whopping 9 miles during March. An average of 2.25 miles a week. I increased my training volume to 18 miles for April. It still felt like nothing, averaging 4.5 miles a week. I didn’t feel like I improved. I still felt slow.

After almost two months of training, on April 22nd, I ran 3.32 miles in 37:32 with an ascent of 143ft. Even at a pace of 11:18 /mi, I still had to walk for 5 minutes because otherwise, my heart would’ve exploded.

On April 22nd, that doesn’t look like I’m on the right track for an ultra, right?

It’s funny to look back on May because it’s obvious I got impatient. I jumped to 48 miles for the month. I plateaued in June because I increased my volume too much, my body felt terrible, and I was terrified of getting injured.

My training and fitness exploded over July and August, and in September, I ran 165 miles. I completed my race on October 7th.

My bar graph looks similar, except that humans are complex and emotional and get in their own way sometimes (June).

I went from not a runner to an ultramarathoner in six months. I say this not to brag but to show that you can completely change your identity and habits in six months, starting with baby steps.

One way to get started on big, overwhelming goals is by asking yourself, how do I start the chain reaction?

The biggest mistake is choosing a domino you can only topple over on your best days.

The key is to pick a domino small enough to topple over even on days when:

  • you feel lazy

  • you feel tired

  • you didn't get enough sleep

  • you're hungover

  • you're "too busy"

Think back over the last three months. What was your worst day? (Sorry for the reminder) Now, what habits could you still do on that day?

For example,

  • If you want to be a reader, you can always read one page.

  • If you want to run a marathon, you can always put on your running shoes.

  • If you want to eat healthy, you can always eat one piece of fruit.

  • If you want to practice yoga, you can always take out the yoga mat.

  • If you want to journal, you can always write one line.

The first domino looks different for everybody.

Most people fail to stick to their habits because they're unsustainable, and when you miss a day or two, it feels like failure, and then you quit.

Only try toppling the 2nd domino once you've mastered the 1st. Don't try to optimize habits before establishing them.

Reply to this email, if you want help brainstorming first dominoes.

Local to Boulder, CO?

Join us Tuesday (1/30) on Meetup for a free biweekly journaling group! This week will be at Tonic Alchemy Lounge. It's a cozy, intimate space with a wide variety of tea, kava, tonics, desserts, and cocktails available.

Thoughtful Tuesdays - Biweekly Journaling Group

Tuesday, January 30th at 6pm MT at Tonic Alchemy Lounge!

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